so i’m reading blogs linked off of a friend of mine (with whom I think i may have fallen in love with for her last entry 
) and i wonder if i’m not walking through live in daze where I’m not really paying attention… i don’t think I “experience” life as fully as some of these ppl
Thinking about it, I think for me, it comes down to memory. I don’t remember things. At least not often things related to my life. All the interesting stuff I know is about other things, my best stories about other people. It’s one of the dangers of living a seriously moderate life. I don’t go out and have grand adventures often, I don’t through myself into my relationships with people. And what happens to me, I often forget. My days seem to have blurred together as of late, and even things I want to remember slip by easily, since they’re not all that different than the surrounding noise. Memory is what you take out of the time you spend, so if you don’t have memory, what can you say you’ve gained from life?
And what I’ve done with my life as of late seems like much of a waste as well. I think, in the end, it’s that I’ve not created anything worthwhile in long time (with the exception of the nerf gun of previous post). After memory, the ability to create is the next most imporant thing in ones experience of life. It’s longer lasting than memory: for while memory is a singular thing applicable to the individual, the act of creation establishes one’s existence in outside one’s self.
I mean, I’m not saying that life is by an means unhappy. I’ve got friends, a reasonably well paying and easy job, and a place to call my own. I lack of very little. In fact, I only complain about my life in relation to the lives of others. My life is quite good.
Who knows, maybe we as a people have been trained by movies and TV to expect constant struggle. Drama, as it were. People who shun drama have too much of it, and people who desire it have hardly enough.
If life were an ocean, I see a lot of people swimming. I’ve been standing at the shore and letting the currents wash over me.
I think I need to start swimming again.
i like to think that if life were an ocean, some people would be swimming, but some would be fishing, some would be building sand castles, some would be sitting on a beach mat facing in the opposite direction… and to make the best of life, one need not be swimming. you could stand by and let the currents wash over you and write beautiful poetry about it, which would make everything worthwhile. but a nerf gun is just as worthwhile as a beautiful poem (and more marketable too!).
i agree with you “People who shun drama have too much of it, and people who desire it have hardly enough.” lol well hope you’ll make great memories
You sound a little depressed, cheer up! =D You’re definitely not just a bystander in life…at least you got a little bit wet and not just buried in sand …
i disagree with victoria. a nerf gun does not compare with a beautiful poem! however, most people don’t care for poetry, so nerf guns end up being better for getting your point across. kind of makes me want to buy one. but if you can write beautiful poetry then do it!